Sparkles, Diamontees and Tears
by BooshIsAwesome
Summary: Something strange is going on. Vince finds out that Howard Moon does not exist and that Naboo and Bollo no longer know him! How did this happen? Will it all get figured out? will Vince ever see Howard again? *scary music* :P
1. Chapter 1

**This is really short, sorry. Its my first story thing.. Enjoy? And review, cause I dont know if im going to put the rest of the story up? x  
I wrote this story quickly, so im sorry if theres any spelling mistakes and stuff.**

I do not own The Mighty Boosh. They belong to Julian Barratt and Noel Fielding. I own nothing but the plot, and Dr. Dee !  


"Mr Noir? Can you hear me?" There was a lady in white standing over my bed. Wait.. this aint my bed!  
"What? Where am I?" everything's blurry and what am I wearing!?  
"Its all ok Mr Noir, Do you remember anything?" This lady isn't helping.  
"Vince, Call me Vince. No what's 'appening?"  
"well Vince you've been 'asleep' for 3 weeks. Someone called us and told us where you were, we got you from the front of a club, passed out. We brang you here and you've only just woke up" she was being so calm!  
"Whoa! wait, I'm in hospital? where's Howard? where are my clothes?" I need to get out of here. pronto!  
"Calm down Mr noir. your in Camden hospital. You clothes are at your house I guess. Howard? No ones come to visit Mr Noir, sorry" Mr Noir? Again? aghhh. Howard hasn't come to see me? Strange.  
"My name is Vince ok? I want to go" Really badly.  
"Vince, sorry.. You cant go yet, sorry. I'll be right back." Did I upset her?  
"Wait" Shit. "Stop saying sorry, I'm sorry Dr... ?"  
"Dr Dee. Thankyou Vince, But really.. I'm sorry, Sorry about the whole situation" she walked out .  
I've got to get out of here, I hate hospitals. Howard probably doesn't know where. Bet he's worries sick...This rooms well creepy. I'm the only patient in here, so there's two empty beds either side of me.  
Dr Dee walked back into my practically empty room. "OK, the bad news is.. You have to take 4 of these pills everyday. 2 of a morning, 2 of a night" she handed me a box of some kind of painkillers.  
"Cheers" Great, Pills.  
"The good news is that you'll be able to leave and go home by tomorrow"  
Tomorrow!! "Great, Thanks Dr Dee, That sounds good. Oh um.. what's the time, please?" I've been out of it for 3 weeks, I don't even know the date, or what day it is.  
"Again with the Dr Dee? Call me Angie! its 3:30pm" She left. Angie .. I like it.  
"Oh, Vince?" she stuck her head around the door "You haven't really eaten for 3 weeks, would you like anything?" come to think of it, I'm not hungry at all.  
"No thanks Dr.. I mean Angie" She smiled and was gone.  
Now what? I'm stuck in hospital, In an empty room. I wonder why Howard hasn't came for me? Should I be worried? No.. I'm sure he is looking for me and just hasn't come here yet, after all, He knows I hate hospitals. I drifted off to sleep thinking about everything that has happened

It was dark and stormy, I was walking alone through an empty alleyway.  
" 'ello there" the eerie voice came from behind me and I jumped as I turned around. There was a man standing there, holding on to Howard. He had a gun pointed to his head.  
"Vince! Don't listen to him, Save yourself!" There were tears rolling down Howard's face.  
The man had an unfamiliar face, It was covered in scars and he had short, scruffy brown hair.  
"Well, Vince. We meet again." He had a scratchy, rough voice "You owe me money Vince, I want it now. Or ya friend 'ere gets it" My eyes were darting from the man to Howard then back again.  
I finally spoke "I'm sorry, I don't have it, Give me one more day. Please" My voice cracked and tears rolled down my face.  
"I cant do that Vince, you've had enough time" I looked at Howard, then to the gun pointed at his head. I watched the trigger and slowly saw it get pressed in."NO!"


	2. Chapter 2

I fell out of bed and hit the ground."Oh my Gosh! Vince!" Angie was keeling on the ground next to me."Ow, That 'urt" I let out a fake laugh and smiled. She held my arms and helped me get up off the cold ground."What happened! You screamed then you just fell out. Your crying, Vince" I was sitting on the hospital bed wiping m face and Angie was standing in front of me."I just want to go home." She grabbed my hands and smiled.

"I know, Vince, I know. I'll go talk to the nurses" Howard. I need to see him. What did that nightmare mean?! er.. I need to get out of here. I could here Angie bickering outside my room and it made me really smile for the first time in a while. She was talking to some guy, calling him Tim if I'm hearing properly."Tim, He bloody fine! Let him go,""No! He could get outside and have a breakdown or something for all we know!""Oh, Shut up! He's confused, and sad and he wants to go home. I say, let him go.""FINE!"She walked in with a grin on her face "Victory is mine!"I let out a laugh "So I can go?" Her smile faded, but she quickly put on a n obvious fake one. "oh, um.. Yes, Just don't forget to take your pills" Was she… sad? "Er.. Thankyou Angie, 'preciate it. Oh um.. Can I have some clothes?" She laughed and her real smile came back. She was prettier when she smiled."Well, the hospital gown does suit you, but we do have your clothes from when you first got here, Is that ok?" She was too nice."Yeah, That'll be genius." She walked off and came back a few minutes later with my clothes in a bag. She handed me my bags and showed me where to get changed. I took of the hospital gown and put on the green t shirt that was in the bag, next I put on the black and red leopard print skinny leg jeans and the black leather boots. I went back to where Angie was. "Well, Don't you look glamorous!" she had her smile on again."Thanks" She got up and started walking and nodded for me to follow, so I did. We got to the front desk and Angie started talking to the receptionist about me checking out and after a few minutes she turned around with that fake smile."Um, Well, your fine to go now" I like Angie, she was sweet."Angie, it was good to meet you. Too bad it was under these circumstances, yeah?. Um, bye" I couldn't stay around. I looked at her and she didn't even have her fake smile on. I walked out the front doors and made my way to the taxi bay, After about 10 minutes, I finally got a taxi and asked him to take me to the drove for a long time before we got there, when he pulled up I gave him some money and jumped out of the cab, into the chilly air.I walked into the Nabootique and there was no one behind the counter. That's weird.. Howard's always here? I made my way upstairs to the flat. I saw bollo and Naboo sitting on the lounge playing go fish."Alright guys?" The just starred at me."Did you even know I was gone?" They still just stared."Who the hell are you?" This tiny shaman is full of it."Aw shut up Naboo! Ya high or something?" he better be pulling my leg."Yeah, I am. Get out of here!" Naboo stood up, as did bollo."Whoa! Guys, Its me.. Vince? Whares Howard?" what's happening!?

"Who's 'oward? Bollo! Get him outta 'ere" Bollo came closer and pushed me."wait! Just let me do something!" I ran to my room and saw none of my stuff. All it was was Naboo's shamanistic shit. I ran to Howard's room and saw the same thing. All his stuff was gone and replaced with flying carpets.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry It took so long to put this chapter up.  
I dont even know if theres people reading this? oh wells..  
Sorry for my short, stingy chapters! I've been writing my story in a note book for about 6 weeks, so I'm way ahead of this chapter, just havent put it up yet... It gets better. a lot better, I promise! R and R!**

*I do not own The Mighty Boosh, Leroy, Vince, Howard.. well, I dont own anything except 'Angie' and the plot.. Dammit.

I looked around and Naboo and Bollo were still staring at me. I just ran back down stairs and out of the shop. I didn't know what to do, where to go or what was happening.I just ran till I had to stop. I was puffing so hard I thought I'd popped a lung. My stomach grumbled with pain. Food! I walked up the road a bit till I found a shop, I went and got a bag of lollies.  
"Alright mate? Your looking a bit off" The guy behind the register was young, 'Bout 17 or 18. I couldn't speak, just nodded. As I paid the boy and walked out of the shop I caught a glimpse of my reflection. My face was thinner and paler and my hair! GROSS. It was flat and dirty. I don't think I've showered for 3 weeks. I realised I was walking again.  
"Vince? Vince mate! Is that you?" I heard someone behind me. As I turned I saw a flash of my nightmare in my head, When I'd fully turned I saw Leroy  
"Leroy!" I ran up to him and hugged him. He pushed me,  
"OI! Get off! Where've you been for the last 3 weeks? You stink, better come home for a shower, yeah?"Home? I live with Leroy?  
"Le… where's 'oward?" please, please, please tell me what I want to hear. 'He's waiting for you at home!' I didn't get that…  
"Who's Howard?" NO.  
"Howard TJ Moon! Where is he?" why me? I needed to figure this.  
"Mate, I think you should come home, we don't know any Howard's" no Howard's? Fuck.. Everything went black and I felt my self hit the cold concrete below.

I woke up in a familiar place. Leroy's place, wait… My place? I stood up from the lounge, only to be knocked down by the sudden pain in my head. I tried one more time and had to balance myself out so I didn't fall down again. I made my way to the spare room in Leroy's. I didn't want to open the door because I knew I wouldn't like what was inside. I lightly kicked the dor and it opened. My stuff. Everything was here, My Jagger posters, my Goth juice, my make up, my clothes EVERYTHING.I don't live here. I live with Howard. Howard! Howard, howard, howard. Where is he? Why doesn't anyone know him, or me for that matter. This aint right. I went and sat on the chair in front of my mirror. Gross. Shower, that's what I need, I got some fresh clothes and shoved some lollies from my table into my mouth. I got into the bathroom, took of my T-shirt and turned on the water.I looked around my new bedroom. Tears welled up in my eyes, why me? My life's officially fucked.  
Shit like this doesn't happen to anyone, let alone the sunshine kid. I need to figure this out, How? When? Fuck! so many questions, but who to ask? The only person I need right now in my life is Howard. What if I never see him again?. I sat down in the corner of my room and though, a bit too much. I thought too much about howard, My whole life's been with him, if he's… gone, I'm not going to function properly. My head felt heavy and my stomach was turning, I remembered Angie had told me to take them pills, so I stood up and my head felt even heavier. Once again I felt myself fall to the carpet but this time I felt a sharp pain on the corner of my head. I've got to stop doing sunshine through my window woke me up. I was n the floor and my head felt like someone through a brick at it. I put my hand up to where it hurt most and noticed there was a bandage wrapped all the way around my head.  
"Howard!?" Where is the git?!  
"FUCK! Howard!?"Leroy ran into my room with water and pills. Shit, Howard.. I forgot.  
"Calm down, Mate. Its ok" Nothings fucking OK, idiot.  
"I found these on your bed, guess you should take them?" He handed me the water and pills and I downed it in one go.  
"What Happened?" I've said that so much lately its like my own personal tag line.  
"well, I heard a bang and came up here. You fainted, and hit your head on the way down" Leroy smiled. He SMILED.  
"fuck off, Leroy. Why 'ya smiling? I'm going out." I slowly, carefully and painfully stood up and left the house. It was raining outside and there was a strong wind blowing rubbish about everywhere.


End file.
